Tago the Trickster

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Hey folks!  Working on a new class expansion for RPG Fitness!  Will feature three new classes – The Trickster, The Grappler, and The Titan, along with three new class stories, and three new workouts for the classes!  Here’s the class story for the new Rogue class, The Trickster.  Enjoy!

Tago gripped the string tightly in his hand, waiting for the perfect moment.  He held his breath as his target approached, watching keenly from his hiding spot amongst the reeds.  Finally, at the perfect moment, he released the string, and was rewarded by the splashing sound of water and a confused cry of dismay and annoyance.

“TAAAAAAGOOOO!!” his target bellowed an obviously rhetorical accusation.  He knew who had set that water bucket up on the rafters.  No one else in the village would even dream of embarrassing Brommel the Mighty like that.

Tago giggled in his hiding spot, and pulled on another cord.  Whatever Brommel the Blusterer was going to shout next was cut off by a sack of flour emptying all over his head.  It had taken Tago a week of doing odd jobs for the farmer down the road to get that flour but it had been worth it!

Brommel came crashing out of the storehouse, covered in flour and desperately trying to clear the mess from his face.  He spluttered for a moment before yelling in anger, looking around for the nimble antagonist.  Tago held out in his hiding spot for as long as he could to enjoy his handiwork.  Brommel wasn’t that smart, but there weren’t really any other hiding places near the storehouse so he’d figure out where Tago was pretty quickly.

As if listening in on Tago’s internal dialogue, Brommel stomped over towards the riverside, a look of pure rage on his face.  Tago popped out of the reeds, just long enough for Brommel to see him laughing before high-tailing it back in the direction of town.  Brommel’s face turned red at the sight of Tago, and he ran after the little scamp, but Tago was much too fast.

Brommel made it to town a good three or four minutes after Tago.  The villagers he passed suppressed giggles and guffaws, doing their best not to anger the bully.  Brommel stomped over to the blacksmith shop where Tago worked most frequently.  Throwing the door open, he stepped inside.

“Miko, where in the nine hells is Tago?  He’s got a lot to answer for!” Brommel yelled out.  Miko the blacksmith came out from the back room, grumbling as he made his way up to the front counter.  When he arrived, he burst out laughing at Brommel’s flour-covered, dripping appearance.

“…Shut up, Miko.  Is the rat here, or not?”

“Yes, Tago is here, he’s been making horseshoes all morning,” Miko replied, not even trying to compose himself.  As one of the only people in the village larger and stronger than Brommel, he was not very easily intimidated by the brute.

Brommel didn’t reply, merely storming towards the door to the workshop.  Miko intercepted him, blocking the entrance.

“…Move, Miko.” Brommel growled.

“I think not, Bromm.  You’d best take your anger elsewhere.” Miko’s face was now hard as cold iron.  Brommel stared him down for a long moment before taking a step back.

“Do you see what he’s done to me?!  I’m the laughing stock of the village because of that rat!” Brommel sputtered.

“Oh, I see what you’ve done to yourself, Brommel,” Miko replied, “Where did you find all that flour, anyway?”

“I did not do this to myself!” Brommel shouted, indignant, “I was just going into the storehouse when Tago sprung a trap on me, and covered me in this mess!”

“Well I don’t see how he managed to do that, since he’s been here making horseshoes every morning, as I already said.  Now what I want to know is why you were in the town storehouse in the middle of the day.  Not enough food at your house, Bromm?” Miko narrowed his eyes, staring the flour-covered bully down.

Brommel knew he had been beaten.  He had no reason to be in the storehouse at midday unless he was swiping food meant to help get the town through the harsh winter.  He frowned, and turned to stomp out of the blacksmith without another word.

“You might want to go take a dip in the river, Brommel!  You look a little ridiculous!  Ha-ha!” Miko hooted after him.  He grinned for a long minute before his look grew stern again and he walked into the back room.

Tago sat there, studiously hammering away at a horseshoe and doing his best to look completely innocent.

“Did I hear someone up front, Master Miko?” Tago asked.

“You know damn well what you heard, boy,” Miko responded, “And as much as I appreciate seeing that blowhard made a fool of, you’re playing a dangerous game.  He will kill you if you keep this up, you know.”

“Why master, I have no idea what you’re talking about!” Tago’s eyes were wide as protested his innocence.

“Don’t play stupid with me, boy!  I’m no shambling oaf!” Miko yelled.  Tago yielded, he knew he couldn’t put one over on Miko.

“Fine.  I know.  But I was tired of him stealing from the rest of us!  Everyone knows he does it, but they’re all too scared to do anything about it!  If no one else is going to do something about him, then I will!” Tago replied earnestly.

“I understand, Tago.  I just don’t want to see you hurt,” Miko’s face softened.  He reached forward and tussled Tago’s sandy-colored hair, “Believe it or not, I’ve grown rather fond of you.  Don’t let it go to your head.”

“I’ll be careful,” Tago promised, grinning, “Besides, he could never hope to catch me, anyway.  I’m way too quick!”

“Be that as it may, remember you won’t always have someone around to stand between you and the bullies of the world.  Now get back to work,” Miko turned to leave, but before he did, he looked back over his shoulder, “Oh, and don’t ever think about setting up that hammering contraption to fool me into thinking you’re in here working again!  I’ll be counting your horseshoe output from now on!”

Tago winced, glancing at the small gadget hiding behind the bellows.

Guess I didn’t quite pull that trick off… He thought to himself, as he set to work hammering out another horseshoe.

That’s it!  Hope you enjoyed Tago’s little tale.  The upcoming expansion should be available soon, debuting for somewhere between $5-10!  I know you’ll love it.  =D

Until next time, remember to live boldly, change the world, and continue to be awesome!

Dan “DaRatmastah” Wallace